I have a bona fide shopping problem. An addiction. I need things. All the time. And I have to find a way to get them. And since I have sooo much damn credit, there's always a way.

Then I get depressed that I bought things I cannot afford. And the only thing that makes me feel better when I am depressed is more stuff!

It's quite terrible. I love even little "prizes" like nail polish or a lip gloss. I spent $130 at Sephora.com last week and decided to keep it a secret. But I felt so guilty I immediately told hubby (plus I wanted to show him my loot). It all started as a little something to "pick me up" and ended up with quite a few items, including the below mentioned smurf palette and Dior shadows and Nars lip crayon and Lancome eyeliner and...

And now I want a new lip polish. $130 and I still need another lip polish?! What's wrong with me? I never seem to have enough clothes, enough shoes, enough underwear... enough! I'm insatiable. There's something bizarre about the way shopping can be cathartic for so many women. I justified it by thinking that I now have a paycheck coming in, yet I've probably spent enough for my next few paychecks... and I was supposed to be helping contribute to the household. I guess a happy wife is key to a happy home?

I'm up early because I'm going to WORK!

:-)

Just thought I'd share.

How adorable is this new highlighting powder by Too Faced? I love the Smurfs.

When I was a young girl, I thought that when people died in movies, they actually died. Like they got suicidal volunteers for actors and I suppose it was just done in the one take, and that's that, they were dead.

I was a strange little girl.

I haven't really said a word to you all in ages. Ages! I've been busy. I got myself a job :-)
And in a field that I really really wanted to be in. Radio. Tis all I'll say.

We went to palm springs this past weekend so I could finally meet some of my new in-laws. The weather out there was great, I love it when it's unseasonably warm in the wintertime. We stayed at this place that felt like it was straight out of the Jetsons. 50s modern. I'll post pics soon.

I've been reading the Shopaholic books, since I figured I'd want to see the movie and I just can't help but read the book first. The main character is eerily similar to me. I think I may have a shopping addiction. It makes me feel better. And then worse. And when I feel worse, I shop. And then I feel better. And then...

I have to go. The phone's ringing.

Oh! It's so very cold. And wintery. I wish I had a blanket made of fur. Humane fur. Grown by poor animals in India who shave it off for spare change.

I want extensions. The kind grown by poor women in India for spare change. Except that in this country it costs upward of $1000 to get one's hands on these locks. Who is the middle man here?

Happy 2009!

The new year is upon us! New New New...

I resolve to be more resolute this year.

I want to read more, as reading really serves to improve so much. It makes us well informed, broadens our vocabulary, enriches our minds, yada yada.

I want to be closer to loved ones and make more time for friends and my dog.

I want to play tennis more. Maybe take up a hobby. Or spend more time doing current hobbies like writing and taking pictures and doing crosswords. Lazy Sunday things.

But I don't want to be so lazy. I'm getting a fabulous job this year, end of story.

I will clean more. Or be less messy.

I will adopt a healthier lifestyle. No more chips and cookies (or not so many).

I'm just so happy to have a fresh beginning. Yahoo!

I've been bedridden the last couple of days due to a stomach flu/food poisoning (don't know which). It's given me an opportunity to catch up on a lot of reading, online browsing and movie watching. I've come to the realization that I really want to get extensions. I miss having long hair so much. I'm tired of feeling like crap about how I look. And the whole stomach thing has kick-started my weight loss - I was going to wait until the new year but spending all day puking yesterday has humbled my appetite.
2009 - new year, renewed me. I've got a great job interview lined up for the 7th and I am really hopeful about it. This can be the start of a beautiful thing!

I had a merry Christmas, did you?

When you have cancer you learn a lot about who your real friends are.

*begin rant*

It turned out I had a few. Ones that truly cared and didn't freak out and disappear on me. Some mere acquaintances surprised me and turned out to be something more. And some of my nearest and dearest turned to dust.

Aside from my wonderful husband and family, I had one friend that really went above and beyond. She put me in the tub and gave me baths when I didn't feel like bathing (and yet really needed to). She went to chemos and sat there while I slept. She listened to me bitch and moan and be a bitch. She asked the doctors questions and listened. She was there when I shaved my head. Hell, she took the first cuts (and we discovered she does NOT have a future in hairdressing). She made me want to be a better friend.

I know it can be weird and scary to deal with - you start to think about your own mortality et al, but seriously, would it have been that hard to drop someone a few emails? Many did... but again, now that I'm all better, I can't help but think of those who didn't. And I don't think it can ever be the same. Cancer changes the way you look at things, it makes you more sensitive and yet stronger simultaneously. You become an empathizer.

I never wanted people to look at me with pity (unless I was trying to guilt them with the cancer card). I just wanted to feel cared about, thought of. And when I tell people my story, I don't want to see that grimace. A nod, a smile, and a geniune "good for you" will suffice.

*end rant*

Sorry, that's been needing to come out for a while now.