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Monday, August 22, 2011

Well...

I'll have Gabriella's 14 month update soon, but I wanted to write a little about what's going on with me right now.

I had a pet scan a little while ago and the results weren't quite perfect. It appeared to show some increased activity in my right underarm, and while my dr. tried to not seem too concerned about it, he did want to get it checked into on a more thorough level. He felt around and while he couldn't feel anything, the scan is showing measurements of 1.8 (anything over 2 and they worry). He thinks it could be from my arthritis throwing things off, but again, wants to look into it more carefully to make sure we're not looking at iwonttypetheword here.

So, I have a biopsy on Tuesday.

I really hate that word, since it sounds so serious and all, but it is what it is. I'm trying to remain as optimistic as possible, because I really don't want to think about all the what ifs of going through this all over again. Any time I think about it I just look at my sweet baby girl and she somehow makes it all better. I could never imagine leaving her behind (one of the godawful whatifs that crosses my mind), and the thought of that just destroys me. So I've decided that I'm OK. :-) I'll have to wait about 4 days after Tuesday to be really sure of that, but for now, I'm OK.


4 comments:

lynn.marie said...

I'm so sorry you're going through this....I hope all turns out well (and I know it will!!!) :) I know being moms we always think about our babies first, even when it comes to our own health.

Wendy said...

As a Hodgkins survivor, 13 years, I know how this feels when you get a not-so-great scan. Stay positive. It sounds like it could be a number of things so just remember that.

I have my annual ct-scan Friday. I'm nervous as usual. I too have a toddler, she's 16 months, and I look at her and think how blessed I am to have her.

Just stay strong and positive. :)

yeah but not really said...

I can't imagine what it must feel like to have this excruciating wait. I'll be thinking of you...

Unknown said...

Thinking of you. Remember to breathe!