Sunday, December 28, 2008
2009 - new year, renewed me. I've got a great job interview lined up for the 7th and I am really hopeful about it. This can be the start of a beautiful thing!
Thursday, December 25, 2008
Tuesday, December 23, 2008
It turned out I had a few. Ones that truly cared and didn't freak out and disappear on me. Some mere acquaintances surprised me and turned out to be something more. And some of my nearest and dearest turned to dust.
Aside from my wonderful husband and family, I had one friend that really went above and beyond. She put me in the tub and gave me baths when I didn't feel like bathing (and yet really needed to). She went to chemos and sat there while I slept. She listened to me bitch and moan and be a bitch. She asked the doctors questions and listened. She was there when I shaved my head. Hell, she took the first cuts (and we discovered she does NOT have a future in hairdressing). She made me want to be a better friend.
I know it can be weird and scary to deal with - you start to think about your own mortality et al, but seriously, would it have been that hard to drop someone a few emails? Many did... but again, now that I'm all better, I can't help but think of those who didn't. And I don't think it can ever be the same. Cancer changes the way you look at things, it makes you more sensitive and yet stronger simultaneously. You become an empathizer.
I never wanted people to look at me with pity (unless I was trying to guilt them with the cancer card). I just wanted to feel cared about, thought of. And when I tell people my story, I don't want to see that grimace. A nod, a smile, and a geniune "good for you" will suffice.
Sorry, that's been needing to come out for a while now.
Monday, December 22, 2008
Friday, December 19, 2008
While she and her hubby were in delivery, we took care of her utterly adorable 2 year old daughter, Riley. We took her to Target to buy her a doll and a few other miscellaneous for mommy, and she was so well behaved! Adam is going to be an amazing father one day. And maybe I won't be so shabby as mum either. Singing nursery rhymes in the car isn't as lame as I thought it'd be.
In other news, I can't believe it snowed in Vegas. I'm a little jealous. I hate this in between weather. It's so miserably cold here yet the sun is shining. What gives?! I want to at least see some powder and flurries if I have to bundle up.
Tuesday, December 16, 2008
And I've taken to red wine! For a while I've been aspiring to take up wine drinking and I am starting to enjoy it. I'm so cultured.
Thursday, December 11, 2008
Tuesday, December 9, 2008
Yum! I tend to overcook chicken, I must learn to just throw caution to the wind and risk salmonella. I plan on cooking for Mr. Lexi more often, I think he enjoys it. :-)
Monday, December 8, 2008
I mean their knives are like hundreds of dollars, so one of their cutting boards should be the most excellent of excellent cutting boards. All you have to do is add $450 worth of their knives and other paraphernalia to your registry and mail them off a copy. So easy a caveman could do it.
Sunday, December 7, 2008
I enjoy reading. Thoroughly. I credit my thirst for the written word as a young child for making me the savvy intellectual I am today :-P
I just finished reading "I Was Told There'd Be Cake" by Sloane Crosley, and I found it to be quite the enjoyable read. Her style and wit seem similar to mine, so I took a quick liking to her. I tend to enjoy people who are like me. So I will recommend this book to you all. A great one to keep on the nightstand and read a chapter or two before bed every night.
Or, if you're like me, all in one sitting. :-)
Friday, December 5, 2008
Thursday, December 4, 2008
Then I went to my almostnotquitefinished photo wall...
Then I slid up to the flowers my lovey got me...
They lasted forever, which surprised me. I have this uncanny ability to kill flowers in like a day.
Some of my favorite wedding pictures... and of course my darling doing what he loves best...
Note the wonderful photographer's tripod lamp in the corner. So pleased that we got this bad boy. Which reminds me of the great kitchen towels we got at Crate and Barrel this weekend.
And then of course my amazing mixer, which any cook worth his salt should go out and get.
Speaking of cooking, I am reminded of the lovely housewarming I hosted a few days ago, and of the little hors d'oeurves I served.
I ate way too much, which makes me think of my wardrobe, which needs some attention. At least I love all my matching hangers...
AND the jewelry box my daddy bought me before we moved...
I love being ____.
And I love watching time pass me by...
Wednesday, December 3, 2008
So I went today with my receipt (with which by the grace of God I had kept) to get my money back and received the most horrendous treatment ever. They made me cry. I don't even want to go into detail, but "of course they would never price match on a holiday item, even if I got it a few days ago. I could return it and buy another..." "give us the name of whoever told you that and we'll fire them."
But they wouldn't answer if I could return it and rebuy it at the lower price. And they just ignored me and talked amongst themselves, as if I wasn't standing there asking a question. I felt humiliated. The guy Jim who at first said he wasn't a manager, then said he was when I asked to speak to one snapped at me.
I wanted to scream. I wanted to pull out the cancer card and say hello, is this how you treat someone who's gone through hell?!?! But I just walked out of there with my shoulders drooped. And on the drive home I lost it and started crying. I don't know what it was. Rude treatment, fine, I've gotten it before from many different stores. I probably was rude a few times when I worked retail. But it really hurt. Being ignored hurt. Being looked at like I'm gross hurt. I felt like they judged me by the way I looked. I felt insecure and embarrassed all of a sudden for my short hair. Did they think I was some kind of punk, because I donned what I thought was a clever faux hawk? I'm surely reading into it too much.
But I think I deserve to get the credit back for the price difference. NOWHERE on the receipt says final sale or anything like that. This is just bad customer service. I am now a Home Depot convert for sure. Fuck Lowe's.
To make matters worse I get a call to schedule my Pet Scan for next week. Just another jolly reminder that I'm still a somewhat prisoner of my health. Whatever happened to this being a GREAT day??
I can feel it - today is a GOOD day!
Sunday, November 30, 2008
We had a little housewarming shindig with our families at the house today. It was nice to spend time with both sides simultaneously. What we learned was that although we feel our house is big for us, it feels a lot smaller with 10 people in the living room. And I definitely need more plates. I guarantee you someone in my family will feel compelled to gift me with a set of dessert plates for Christmas.
We've been spending a lot of time jamming on Rock Band 2 lately. Not loving it as much as the first one, probably since I'm not as familiar with the songs on this one. Adam says the drums are way better... something about there not being any lag or something or other. I'm lead vocals :-)
We ate at Melting Pot, a fondue fantasy. We got a fondue maker/cooker machine thing for our wedding and I have only gotten a chance to use it once. After tonight I am definitely inspired to try again. Must use lager this time instead of Bud Lite. As if that should make a difference. Melted cheese = you can't go wrong.
Right now I'm regretting letting crazy lady from Big Lots! freak me out of getting a heated blanket. I'm c-c-c-old. Winter?
Friday, November 28, 2008
Ah yes! Mr. Lexi and I were home and we decided to open up the box that held the perfect fake tree we bought from Kmart last week. And we open it... and it had multicolored lights, when I specifically required white lights! The box had a picture of a tree with white lights on it! As luck would have it, we, having nothing better to do at 8 p.m. on Thanksgiving, and me, in a heated panic over a Christmas tragedy, headed to Kmart to return the sucker. Did you know they're always open on Thanksgiving?
They took the tree back and refunded us which is great since we're dopes who don't keep receipts. And they didn't have any trees with white lights that I liked in stock. So as we turned to leave, Channel 4 news showed up asking Mr. Lexi for an interview. He agrees, and they ask him if the economic downturn has affected his holiday spending habits. Mr. Lexi, in all seriousness answers that it absolutely has and solemnly says that changes have to be made and times are tough, etc. etc. Meanwhile, I'm behind him shaking my head and mouthing no, absolutely not, we're still shopping... you know, hamming it up. On our way home, he's so pleased with himself about his interview and his impending fame, when I tell him about my antics behind him. He gets very distraught and says I stole his thunder!
We made it on the 11 o'clock news and managed to TiVo it for all to see at our housewarming party this weekend. Mr. Lexi now wants to get into acting. He enjoys his fame.
Every year I swear off going into the massive crowds that plague Black Friday. And somehow, every year I find a reason to go to at least one store on this day. We went to a nearby shopping megacenter and it was packed to the brim- no sign of economic hardships here. We nixed the idea and went to lunch instead. Later, in my boredom I headed back out to Lowe's where I snagged a divine tree. It was the last one. It had clear lights. Someone in the distance was eyeing it. It was 25% off, today only. So I spent an obscene amount of money on the most beautiful dream Christmas Faux tree ever. And I'm pleased as pie that I did! :-)
And my cashmere sweater came in today. In the wrong color! How hard is this people?!
Thursday, November 27, 2008
We spent Turkey Day at my parents' house, and I feasted on my usual fare: all the sides. I made some righteous mac and cheese and brought along with me a Martha cake I made the day before. Carmelized Apple Spice Cake with a Brown Sugar Meringue Frosting. I capitalize because I love. And my excuse for the gloriously sloppy frost job is that Adam helped :-PIt was a great day. And I found a penny from 1915! It's a long story, we were going to play poker, since we're that kind of a family and then we couldn't find the chips...
Wednesday, November 26, 2008
Adam is great about helping me shake these ugly thoughts, but they do come and go. I guess it's all part of the beast, it always somewhat stays with you. I start to think that I should be doing everything I can to avoid having this happen to me again... maybe eat more veggies, wear more sunblock? I was looking at the package of a light fixture the other day and it warned that handling the base excessively could lead to cancer (or so I deduced, in so many words). Can I never handle light bulbs again? And what if I wanted to put it in my mouth? Now I can't! (I may have wanted to exercise that option, you never know).
My hair now looks like a short pixie cut, one that some people complement me on, thinking that I'm just a spunky, brave gal who experiments with her 'do. But it feels like I've waited so long for it to get to at least this length. Every time family or friends see me they comment that it's growing so fast, but to me it's painfully slow. It's a minute detail to fixate on, but I can't help it. I completed the photo wall in our house, which is full of pictures of my old self, with my old hair. Blonde, long. I wish I could just get used to how I look now with my short, dark hair, even perhaps learn to love it. Too many demons to battle sometimes.
I planned on making my own headboard, since I am crafty and all, but I think the solution is a good-ol fashioned bed. One that doesn't require a box spring and can house our monster mattress and give me the slumber I deserve (and paid for!) (( and am still paying for until next April!!)).
Now I'm on the hunt for a righteous platform bed. Adam is sort of ambivalent about the whole thing so I guess this is going to have to be my Christmas present. Or would I rather have shoes?
I want the day to come when I will have a MASSIVE master suite with 14 foot ceilings and room for a little step stool on each side so I can enjoy the bed in its entirety. *sigh*
Tuesday, November 25, 2008
Today was such a typical BAD day for me. At the DMV a vile, disgusting woman just had to sit next to me, even though there were like 395 other chairs available. And then she proceeded to hack near my airspace. Then she asked me for money for the bus. At the DMV. ??
I came home to a UPS package. Hooray! Except I am missing one item out of the seven that I ordered. Boo! And it was my favorite of all, a winter white cashmere goody that I will NOT be wearing on Thanksgiving now.
Then, I get a bill from a medical office from two years ago that I KNOW I paid. And the stupid lady is so condescending on the phone, calling me sweetie. I said don't you call me sweetie. Then she called me Miss Alexandra. I said, excuse me, it's MRS. Alexandra to you. Really, I did.
Then I bumped my head. And stepped in poo.
It's just been one of those days. But my lovey brought me home flowers and made it all better :-)
Monday, November 24, 2008
Thursday, November 20, 2008
Wednesday, November 19, 2008
All my life I enjoyed a real Christmas tree. My fondest memories are of being bundled up, pacing the tree lot with my mom and dad, rummaging through the trees to pick out the perfect noble fir. Each year I look forward to that scent- the crisp cool air with the pine aroma dancing into my nostrils (ew). The tree is never perfect. One year it was way too tall, another it was entirely too fat. Once it was missing a very large portion and we paid an obscene amount (I think it was $80 and this was back in the late '80s). But year after year I recall examining the calendar and setting the date to get the tree. And anxiously waiting for it to come.
But the tree always dies. If you buy it early in the month, it will surely be dried up and saggy by Christmas. If you wait, you miss out on the enjoyment of seeing the tree in your home until close to Christmas, and then the depression sets in after the big day when you're looking at it after it's been stripped of all the delightful presents underneath (I swear a tree without gifts underneath looks NAKED!).
And we have a dog. I simply don't know what he'd do to a tree. Would he try to eat it? Pee on it? Both?
Last year was our first X-mas with Benny. We decided on a small fake in order to a) save money and b) not worry about aforementioned dog issues. We were in the small apartment and really didn't have the room for the classic monster tree.
Now we have more space. Do I get my real tree? Do I go out and get a perfect faux tree? I could put it up whenever I please and take it down anytime as well. It will always look as good as the day it came out of the box. And though it's an initial investment (they're easily 200 bucks) after a couple years, it pays for itself. And cleanup is practically a non-issue compared with needles strewn throughout by a real tree.
But it just won't have that scent (though I could get a freshener).
What would you do? What do you do?
And if you're ever in Arizona, or Phoenix to be precise, you MUST go to Pappadeaux. I die.
I swear I must have been raised in the south in a past life, for I adore cajun goodness. The etouffe sauce is incredible. I'm all about the sauce. We visited Adam's dad about a month ago (forgot to blog about that, whoops) and every time we're out there we must go to this place. I wish they'd open one out this way. Please?
As you can imagine, I'm doing GREAT with my diet :-P
The vibe is quite lovely, dark, candlelit- a date place for sure. We ordered a smattering of items - pan fried chicken dumplings, spicy garlic chicken, orange crispy chicken, black pepper beef mignon, chicken lo mein, rice and shrimp with sugar peas (i stay away from the seafood. the boys also had sushi). The sauces were divine, flavorful, succulent... drool. The orange chicken was wonderfully crispy, the beef incredibly tender and not fatty. I already cannot wait to go back. I usually don't like sharing food, but in this case it was fantastic because I cannot imagine not having had the chance to sink my paws into one of the dishes of goodness we devoured.
Love the company of great friends, great food, great laughs. A wonderful evening.
Tuesday, November 18, 2008
Sunday, November 16, 2008
Of course I'll be straightening the frames, since I can't bear to look at anything crooked, ever. My next little diy task will be making my own upholstered headboard. Tufted, natch.
Friday, November 14, 2008
I'm sick of it. True, they are immensely comfortastic. And they keep the feet unbelievably warm. And cozy. OK now I want them. Ha, I just pictured what would happen if you put them in the microwave.
Wednesday, November 5, 2008
Monday, November 3, 2008
We arrived. It feels GREAT. Everything that could possibly go wrong with the move did: we waited 8 hours for the fridge to arrive last Thursday and when it finally did it was scratched. Now we won't have one til Thursday. The DirecTV had some problem setting up so we have to wait until Wednesday for television. Horrifying. It rained. And then it poured. But alas, we are in! And it really feels like home. We're happy.
Friday, October 24, 2008
I especially hate packing to move. I don't want to put things away too early, since I may need them before the move. And everything just looks like a big mess. Whenever I start packing, I feel compelled to take a nap instead. Now that I'm fully rested, I have no excuse. We have keys. We move one week from tomorrow. It's crunch time. I thought moving would be a lot more fun...
Tuesday, October 21, 2008
I have created two piles. One of things to give away to Goodwill or some similar charitable organization, and another of things that I can't bear to part with, yet equally cannot bear to look at in my closet because they no longer fit. These will go aside somewhere nearby for safekeeping until I can lose the weight I've gained and fit back into my old glorious things. The problem? My closet's now empty. I mean nearly. I either had major lapses in taste or am a massive behemoth. Not much middle ground.
I need to go shopping. But I don't have expendable cash at the moment. So I need a job. But all of my wonderful work/interview clothes no longer fit properly. This is a vicious cycle. I suppose my only option is to lose 10-15 fast, but every time I think of losing weight, I get hungry. What's a girl to do in the meantime? I'd hate to spend a bunch of money on clothes that I really hope will be too big for me sometime soon.
Monday, October 20, 2008
Thursday, October 16, 2008
Wednesday, October 15, 2008
Or that one? I'm having the hardest time selecting rugs. They're effing expensive. And I feel once I select one I've narrowed down my decorating possibilities. We have dark hardwood floors and two olive green accent walls (not my choice, can't paint). I need one for the living room and one for the dining room. The blue one would be nice for the dining room, which is pale gold, but then I feel limited again! Which would you choose? And where would you go to get a rug? I've tried downtown and feel like everything there was too ornate and dark for my taste. My sofa looks like this:And my furniture is distressed black. I wanted to be able to use bright, poppy prints like this:
Tuesday, October 14, 2008
Even Sephora has a registry. Come on! (I'm registered there too. But don't buy me things from there right now, since it's not at the top of my priorities. I'm stocked with beauty loot for the time being.)
I should just throw a housewarming party! But I wouldn't want to throw a party until my home is perfect, which would require things from aforementioned registries, which would then mean I would have no use for said party ruse.
Who am I kidding, I would love to throw a party just because. But I do need some things... BENEFACTOR!
Monday, October 13, 2008
P.S. I was sooo jealous I was not at this dinner. Her dad hobnobs and it was a last minute thing.
Bought a lamp VERY similar to this yesterday at Pottery Barn, on sale, plus an extra 15 percent off sale items. Felt good about ourselves. We need lighting. I also want the photographer's tripod lamp but hubby feels $299 is too much to stomach. He also questions if it provides enough lighting for the moola. I say you only live once. Next weekend I have a 20 percent off coupon for anything I buy for the friends and family sale so maybe an executive decision may be made. Mua ha ha!
On Sunday we ventured to the Rose Bowl flea market because I was inspired by a fellow blogger's great finds and all the potential she sees in them. But the peeps at this market were bonkers because they were selling their old shiz at prices I could find new things for! It was fun to walk around and check out the stuff though. We bought a jar of spicy minced garlic and cinnamon sugar nuts. Not to be eaten together. I also got bath fizzy balls. I love me a good bath.
Currently I'm monitoring the coverage of the fires in Porter Ranch and Sylmar. I hope it doesn't get any closer to Adam's grandparents' home, and that the smoke isn't too terrible near them. It seems to be moving away from there. The freeways are all sorts of closed so I don't know how anyone's going to get home tonight. All this fire nonsense reminds me of last October, when the fires were in Santa Clarita. I started getting sharp chest pains that never seemed to go away until finally I got diagnosed with cancer in March. I wondered if the fire caused it (really really likely not). Anyhow, I hate fire, and the destruction it represents.
Saturday, October 11, 2008
But this one is my favorite.
After the bridge we checked out the capital of the hippie movement and summer of love, Haight Ashbury.Ahh, anyhow I am totally bored about rehashing this trip. I'm going to just post pictures and you fill in the rest in your little minds. This is what happens when I procrastinate too long on getting something done. Tsk tsk...