Kitchen Utility Cart

I know I should probably update on San Francisco first, but I need to do this now because otherwise my head will spin. We need one of these:

But preferably one that does not cost $999 (at Williams Sonoma, my love).

I suppose this Ikea one that's $900 LESS would suffice...

We found a great place to live so we're hoping that it can go through!

Home, sweet home!

We just got back from a fabulous weekend jaunt to San Francisco. Called it our mini-moon, a precursor to the honeymoon we are in the process of planning. Had the best time. Ate too much. Took about a thousand pictures. Adam got us back home in about 5 hours, which was great since I had to pee since before we left. I can't do public toilets. Detailed post with pics to follow coming soon!

Meet Benny

Thought you should all meet my man...

One of the loves of my life, the lil guy my blog is named after, Benny! I can't fall asleep so I'm blogging. This works! This guy has no trouble sleeping though, he is actually snoring! Louder than my husband too.

Anyhow, is it too ridiculous that I want to throw him a 2nd birthday party next month? And a costume one? With little puppy cupcakes for all his friends? (he doesn't have friends.)

The Job Hunt

What am I qualified for???

I have:

1. A bachelor's in Journalism
2. 2.5 years as a Realtor
3. A moderate disposition.

I hated sales. I love to write. Am finding that anything that interests me in the least wants at least 3-5 years experience. What's a girl to do to get her foot in the door? This chick wants a J-O-B now. Please hire me!

Tuned in tonight to watch Dancing with the (C list) Stars mainly to watch Kardashian's ass. Remain mostly unimpressed and think I may bypass watching this season. I enjoyed So You Think You Can Dance way more.
Speaking of glittery prom dresses, I kind of miss the process of getting all dolled up for a formal event. I mean since our wedding, which I guess wasn't that long ago, I've realized that my most formal and important of dress-wearing moments is over (until I win a Grammy). And I've probably gained too much weight to put on the damn dress to just wear around the house (which sounds VERY appealing right now). Would it be entirely odd to find a reason to wear my wedding dress again?

We're Moving!

It's true! Adam accepted an offer with a new company and due to 1. the company's preference for him to live in the area he will be working in (he gets to work from home!!!) and 2. our bored-ness with our current digs, we are looking into venturing out somewhere! Not too far, of course! Naturally I want more space to put my clothes and junk away, and Adam wants to save up money by downsizing for a bit so we can buy a place soon. Sigh. Hopefully we can compromise by getting a bigger place like I want. Ha.

My must haves:
Granite Counters
Roman Bathtub
Huge Walk-in Closet
Room for an office
Open floorplan

Adam's Must haves:
Place to put the beer
Place to put the plasma.

And the differences between men and women continue... (Although I am planning on getting more into drinking. I sort of aspire to become a wine afficionado.) I presume this is where I actually go out into the world and get a paying job so that we can achieve both of our wants. I'm sure it will make me a better person. (and that is sooo not sarcastically speaking)

Screw you, Neiman's!

Well, not really. I just really want these Fendi T-Strap platforms. Aren't they gorge? *sigh* Why must you email me daily temptations?

Why am I so NOT good at formatting my posts?
Note to self: Must perfect blogging skills.

F21

So I have always had a love/hate relationship with Forever 21. Love the cheap prices. Hate the cheap clothes. Well not all of them are cheap. Some are quite fantastic actually. And I recently came across the website (finally they have one, I checked years ago and there was nuppence)!

So here are the things I need:

I love yellow. And in a peacoat! And the dotted dress is so cute! And I've been seeing feathered headbands and wanna try the look. And tiered dresses are fab. And who doesn't love a creepy owl?
The problem is, there are 14 other items in my cart that are must-haves also. Where do I draw the line? I'm still under 300 bucks, but it's 300 bucks I do not have. A conundrum...

So I have gotten myself into a little trouble lately. I cannot stop eating sweets! We got the (in)famous Kitchenaid mixer as a wedding gift from my grandma and for months just admired its beauty collecting dust on our countertop. I was afraid of it! Note its gleaming sunshine-y charm.

Then a couple of weeks ago Adam said, "That's it, I am baking SOMETHING!" Which, for Adam to offer to bake is extremely adorable (I love that my man can work magic in the kitchen). So he made lemon bars. Gleefully. He did so well that I had to polish them off so he could make something the next day (we're both fundamentally against baking a new item when there are still helpings of other goodies available). Then it was fudge brownies. Then cookie bars. Then chocolate chip muffins. Then cinnamon swirl crumb cake. We were both in awe of the wonders that our beauty of a mixer could make. And it was so fun and easy to use. Not at all as intimidating as I had imagined it would be.

Anyhow, the problem is that this madness must end. I cannot keep eating all these confectionary delights at such a manic pace. I need vegetables! I need to eat healthier. I mean, my dr. allowed me to indulge in every edible whim I had while undergoing treatment, but now I have no excuse. I need to start taking care of my body so that it doesn't betray me again. So I am going to take over and cook HEALTHY items for dinner. No more sugar! (at least as soon as I polish off this last bit of crumb cake). And maybe I can find some healthy things to bake with the mixer.

I was mortified at my last weigh-in at the doctors, so I have to kick myself into high gear with being healthy. I'll let you know how I do.

Finally, Sephora.com features product reviews! I've been waiting for this for years! Not that I really need to buy anything RIGHT NOW, but it's still nice to have the option.

Last night Adam and I watched the Stand Up to Cancer special on tv, and I have to say that I was very touched. I didn't think it would make me that emotional (who was I kidding) but it really was incredible. I wish it wasn't on for only an hour.

It made me really want this shirt...

Because I am!

Wife Swap?

So I'm puttering around the house with the television in the background but I had to stop and watch when I saw this show. I always thought the premise of Wife Swap was sort of twisted but seeing how truly weird some people are was mind boggling.
Family one featured two rude and obese teenage daughters and their equally rude and obese parents. Family number two was an uber conservative Christian family with 5 children. And a whip called the "whacker."
At first I thought the disgustingly fat permissive family was completely horrible, yet after watching the militant-like parenting in the Christian family, I concluded that both were out of touch with reality. Yes, kids should be kids but they do need order and discipline, otherwise they have no chance in the real world.
The whole corporal punishment thing is beyond me. The reason parents spank their children is to let out their own frustration with them, and I believe it serves no purpose in actually disciplining the child and helping them realize the wrong that they did. Communication is imperative when parenting.
Now if you'll excuse me, I must go back to watching a redneck chauvinist get yelled at by a proud working black woman.

Exercise?

So I really want a bicycle, because otherwise I'll continue to be fat. I figure I can ride around a bit and have a rock hard body. How hard can it be? Shed 10 pounds with ease!

Problem: I never really learned how to ride a bike. Enter the adult tricycle! I dig the clever basket in the back for stashing books or babies. I'd just need to get a bell.

Honestly, would I look like a total boob zipping around town in this bad boy?

To blog or not to blog...?

This whole blog thing's weird if you really think about it. I mean, how am I to know who's out there reading my thoughts? I could be writing to an audience of one. In my mind I can't imagine someone devoting their precious time to reading something I've written. So do I just pretend there's nobody out there reading, and write it all out like a diary? I guess that's one way to approach it, but I so failed miserably at blogging on my first attempt. I've had serious things to say, and yet still passed up the opportunity to do so. Maybe it's because throughout the last few months I haven't wanted to talk about being "sick". So what if yes, I was sick... I tried to ignore that as much as I could. I didn't need to think about it or talk about it 24/7. I'm not that kind of cancer chick who lets it become her and define her. Cancer, we tusseled around, her and I, and I got the upper hand in the end. End of story. Sure I'm left with a few scars, some obvious physical, some emotional. But I don't want to be defined by something like that.
For a long time now I've been struggling with who I am, who I want to be, what I want to do, what I want to become. There is the me that I have in theory and would like to be, and then there is the actuality of me (which for the time being, ain't been so pretty). I fancy myself a bright girl with a lot to offer, but when it comes down to selecting what it is I need to do, I become increasingly self deprecating - who'd want to hire me?
There are so many things I wish for. I want to be a better wife. A good domesticated goddess who can cook and clean and fix things and bake scrumptious goodies with ease and on command. I want to be a better friend. I want to be accessible and available to my friends and to make friends. I should probably charge my cell phone that's been dead for the last 5 months. I want to travel and read more. Be knowledgeable and cultured and sophisticated... You know, all grown up and whatnot. I want to know my professional calling. I want to start working and making money and be more independent and buy property in the forseeable future. So many I wants...
But back to the thought at hand: Should I blog for myself or for my invisible audience?
For now I will use this as a cathartic tool, to try to let some of myself out. I'm severely self-editing. Maybe I should just be me, and let everybody see me, the way I am, unapologetically? And that way if you don't like me, it won't be because I was painfully shy and never ventured to make the effort. I always feel so sad about the past; missed opportunities and friendships because I was too shy or lazy or I don't know what.
I'm tired of wondering what people will think of me. Life's too short to live like that. The people that love me will, and that's all I need.

Feeling somewhat vindicated over myself.