Laugh at my expense.

Oh dear God, it's happening. I'm losing control of my bodily functions.

It began today innocently enough. Someone at work said something funny. As I proceeded to laugh hysterically, a teeny tiny fart came out. Surely the sound of my cackling muffled it, yet I realized that my great fear is inevitably going to come true: I will toot against my own will.

Fine enough. This evening, as I was preparing to take my bath, something happened again. I let out a hearty sneeze... and peed myself. Just a smidge. As embarrassing as the situation sounds, it did make me laugh. At least I was about to get in the tub, so I didn't wet my panties or anything, but still. I had to ask my hubby to bring me the carpet spray reserved for when our dog pisses on the carpet (which we're proud to announce is extremely rare now. If only I could take after him).

Isn't it MUCH too early for this nonsense?!