The Zoo!

Errm this post should be appropriately titled "Near 5-Month Olds Are Indifferent to Zoo Outings, Despite Your Best Efforts to Pique Their Interest".

Weather out here had been cold and windy (when I say cold I mean around 60 degrees, which is freezing for So Cal). When we saw that the weekend showed promise of a nice sunny day, we decided to take Gabs to the zoo for the first time. I'm not gonna lie, I was inspired to take my young baby to the zoo because Kardashian took her baby to the zoo, and when I saw that episode months ago I said "aha, I shall do that as well!" So I did.

The Los Angeles Zoo charged us $28 admission. There was talk of getting a membership, but in order for it to have been fiscally "worth it" we would have to make 3 trips to the zoo within a year, and that's not the kind of commitment I believe I can make. We began by spotting a couple sea lions, which Gigi hardly noticed, since she was so busy staring at all the people around her. We moved on the the flamingos (and at this point we realized that the zoo doesn't smell nice at all), and decided to lift her up so she could get a better glimpse. Nada. The girl looked everywhere but at the animals.

By the time we got to the zebras, we realized this was a glorified $28 walk, and as we rounded the corner to the giraffes, we looked down at our beautiful daughter and discovered she had fallen fast asleep. So now this was a zoo trip for mommy and daddy!

Except we don't really like the zoo. I guess I should say we're not crazy about our zoo. We went to the best zoo of life in Chicago last year (OMG was this really just a year ago?! - I digress...), the Lincoln Park zoo, where I heard and saw a lion roar, and the animals were so awesome and almost interactive there, and there was a gorgeous botanical garden, and oh yes, it was FREE. Our zoo left me miffed. The elephants weren't even on display, man.

Anyhow it was nice to get out and the long "walk" was the most exercise I've had in months, which I can tell you was much needed. Here are some of the highlights of the day:

 We even wore our animal print to the zoo!

 

 Look at this guy...

 Aaaand we're out!

Gabriella at the Park

We just so happened to be at the park last Saturday with Gabby cakes and so naturally we decided to let her try out the swings for the very first time. She was a bit too small to really enjoy them, but I'm sure in a couple months she'll be all about it! Unfortunately we didn't have the camera on us, so DH snapped these on his blackberry... You can't really tell from these pics, but that's the gorgeous Pacific Ocean in the background there!

We're still doing the rice cereal thing in the evenings. It had been pretty hit or miss, and I think the trouble was that waiting until she was too hungry to try to feed her was making her too frustrated to try to eat off the spoon. So now she gets her dinner a little earlier and she's been gobbling it all up nicely. She is still waking up a couple times at night, but now I have the ultimate luxury of being able to switch off with DH! We each take a feeding and it's working out pretty well (though I'm thinking he's discovering a newfound appreciation for what life was like for me the last 4 1/2 months!). Now that I'm no longer breastfeeding, I've been able to up my hours at work a bit longer, so I'm now working 5-11 a.m. I miss her like crazy while I'm there, but it's so amazing to come home to her and see her give me her humongous gummy grin when she spots me.

Oh and hands down her new favorite thing of all time is the Jumperoo. We got her the Rainforest one and she goes bonkers in the thing! I so recommend this to anyone - I'm ranking it up there with the Moby wrap (which interestingly I haven't used in well over a month now). I'll definitely have to post a video of her rocking out in there soon.

Formula Poop

Here's the scoop on formula poop... It stinks!

The breastfed baby pooped every third day like clockwork (ok sometimes she'd go 4 or 5 to throw us off). Her poops were an event to be looked forward to. They would happen at some point mid-day, at home, and while the smell was somewhat less than pleasant, it was nothing that couldn't be contained. Rarely there would be the occasional blow-out, which would require expert maneuvering to remove her outfit without getting any of her body soiled. I know you surely desire to know this tidbit: it was the hue of burnt sienna. Maybe orange or mustard-like.

And then formula came in. The girl poops 3 times a DAY now. Gone is the predictability. Enter poopy diaper changes in public restrooms, in the car,  at 3 a.m... And my friends, it does not smell good. It is very, very bad. And the color? Green! Grayish green! Did I mention that this happens 3 times a day now? AT LEAST??? We've had blowouts in the middle of the night that have soaked through her diaper, pajamas, sleepsack, sheet, mattress protector, and right down to the mattress! And the poor girl didn't even wake us to alert us of this atrocity.

I do not like this new poop schedule. Not one bit. How can something so small produce so much poo?!

*UPDATE* 11/9/10 - Gigi poops in the bathtub. Well there ya have it!

The day I put holes in my baby's head.

Yesterday afternoon, my dear friend and I took Miss Gabriella to get her ears pierced. It went like this...

The before shot...

Getting settled in the chair

Marking the holes

Getting nervous!

You expect me to hold down my baby's head for this?!

Ugh I was in pain!

Poor girl...

Not happy right after...

But all smiles a minute later!

Phew!

And the finished product.

I always meant to get her ears done when she's a young baby. Mine were done as a baby and I never had any regrets/resentment for that. But getting hers done broke a little piece of my heart! I felt guilty for putting her through "voluntary" pain, even if it was only for a minute (she really does get over physical pain super fast). And then the insane Lexi came out after I got home and I decided I was convinced that the left hole is off-centered. Oh how I agonized. Everyone told me I was crazy. Perhaps it was more of the mommy guilt coming out? Either way, she was so happy the rest of the day, almost like she knew she was a little lady now. And I think she looks so adorable. I can't wait to be able to put in the little pearls she has!

A post on Rolling, Sleeping, & Solids all in one! Oh, and with some Religion thrown in for good measure.

First of all, I want to thank everyone for the kind words you left me re: that last post. I really appreciated reading everything, from the bottom of my heart. Now let's move on to happy things, because this post will be chock full of them!

I guess I'll work my way backwards from yesterday. It's funny that we always remark on how much Gabriella seems to change a little each day, but I swear to y'all, she changed a lot yesterday, in one day! She rolled over from back to front for the first time! We were waiting on this for a while it seems like, because she was on the cusp of doing it for so long, but just not quite getting it. I figured because she sleeps swaddled all the time that it would probably take her a bit longer to reach this milestone. I missed when she did it the first few times because I was at work, but she was happy to do it again for me when I got home! I meant to get it on video, but she was all tired out by the time I got the camcorder out, so maybe today I can get her in action.

So speaking of being tired out, let's talk how she sleeps. The swaddle is officially gone as of yesterday, and she went cold turkey! Yesterday night (4 a.m., so yesterday morning for me haha) I went to check on her and she had gotten her arms out of the swaddle and looked like she was sleeping so comfortably with her arm up by her head. And yesterday, all her naps were taken in her crib, without the swaddle (well ok, she finished one of her naps in my dad's arms for a bit over an hour). So last night she slept so well in just her sleepsack. I thought for sure we'd be swaddling a preteen, so this just baffles me how she just completely gave it up overnight.

Moving on from how she sleeps, let's get into how much. I wrote before about how sleep in this house has been hard to come by. Well, the last couple nights have gotten a bit better. We just have one or maybe two wake-ups to eat and get settled back, which is such a huge improvement. The culprit may just be...

Yep, we started "solids"! After talking to her dr. some more about just how difficult of a time she was having at night he gave us the go-ahead to give her a bit of rice cereal for dinner last week. We gave her the first "meal" on October 30. Here's a little progression of how things went:

Step one - intrigue: "What's this, a bowl? A spoon? A plastic bib?"

Step two - "OK, I got a mouthful, you have my interest."

Step three - "Feeling a little underwhelmed with this soupy mush, ma!"

Step four - "Although on second thought, it's not so terrible."

"In fact, gimme more!"

"Nommmmmm"

She did a lot better than I thought she would! She only lasted a few little spoonfulls, so we then just mixed the rest in with her bottle. The second night was a lot better, as she eagerly chomped on the spoon... 

I guess she was ready! I'm definitely going to take it slow with the whole "solids" thing and leave it at this for a while. I had originally planned on waiting until closer to 6 months, so that's probably when I'll bring in the veggies and all the other fun stuff.

On a blog "housekeeping" note (I'm so overusing quotation marks in this post. I feel like Joey in that one episode of Friends. Oh and I always overuse parentheses. Heh.) I think I'll start posting my pictures larger. I may just like it better this way. Oh and her bib means "Beautiful Face" in yiddish. DH's grandma sent it. His side is Jewish and my family's Christian. Oh all right, I'll address this here. 

I've heard so much about how this can be such a huge conflict in a marriage but it works just fine for us (probably because neither of us is "hardcore" enough to go to a place of worship on the weekends) (oh and there I went with the quotations and the parentheses!). We plan on incorporating both traditions in raising Gabby, so she'll have Christmas AND she'll also get to have Hannukah as well (although we may have to figure out the whole presents thing, because she'll eventually REALLY be able to use this to her advantage!). She'll take pictures on the Easter bunny's lap and scavenge (is that a verb?) for eggs in my parents' backyard, and have passover dinner at her great-grandparents' house too. The most important thing for us is that she grows up with love, and a strong moral foundation, and that is up to us to instill in her.

Phew! I think that's enough info/updates/knowledge for one post. Dontcha "think"? (ahahaha I crack myself up!)

The End of Breastfeeding

I think yesterday was my last day breastfeeding. And I'm horribly depressed about it.

My antibiotics finished on Friday, and I was all ready to resume breastfeeding. I missed it. I know I probably sound like a broken record, but I love the close bond I have with her when I nurse her. Sure, it would have eventually come to an end, probably around 6-8 months, which was my goal. She is 4 1/2 months now, so it's not like it's that far off.

But I'm just not ready.

Yesterday I resumed bfing her. She ate wonderfully at 10 a.m. I think she quite got her fill, because she was happy as a clam until 2 p.m. At that feeding, however, she was not having it. She was getting all kinds of frustrated having to work so hard since my supply has plummeted. So I supplemented with a bottle of formula (which she practically snatched out of my hand to shove in her mouth as soon as it got near her).

But that's not the problem. I know I can deal with supply issues. I can shove fenugreek capsules down my throat and pump away and know that my supply will eventually regulate itself. But I have to stop bfing her for my own health, and it's making me so uneasy.

My arthritis pain has gotten so out of hand in the last month and a half that it's quite scary. I can hardly walk. Forget bending at the knees, or running upstairs to fetch something with ease, or even curling my toes. I'm still getting fevers and feeling physically drained. After seeing some doctors, they all advise I go on this medication called methotrexate, which is freaking me out. Probably because it's a form of chemotherapy, and my mind goes "there". It's naturally a smaller dose, but it still has side effects, one of which is fatigue the day after the drug is taken (the dosage is once a week). And then I have to get bloodwork done every couple of weeks. This is pretty much my only option, because all the other arthritis drugs have lymphoma as a side effect (fml).

I'm sorry but I just don't want to feel like a patient anymore! I don't want to have to be in and out of dr's offices for the rest of my life like this. I want to feel NORMAL just like everyone else. I want to take care of my daughter and provide her with everything she needs. I just feel like a failure. The only thing keeping me going is that there is a little voice inside of me saying that the best way to take care of her is to take care of myself (ok, that voice may just be my mom and DH). I want to be able to run around and chase her when she gets mobile, and be able to take her on long walks without limping. I just wish I didn't have to rely on some scary pills for that (that I'm honestly not even 100% positive will fix me).

And I know this also sounds silly, but I feel like the end of breastfeeding = the reality that my baby girl is growing up. It's the end of this newborn phase (OK she hasn't been a newborn for a while now, I get it), and she's going to be a toddler before I know it. She doesn't have to rely on me for everything now. Anyone can feed her now. I'm probably selfish for wanting to be the only one who could provide her with everything she needs. I just always imagined that everything would happen on MY terms, but time is moving so fast, and I can't stop her from growing up. It's such a strange feeling to be torn between wanting her to stay little like this forever and at the same time feeling like I can't wait to see her walk and have real conversations with her and take her places where she'll have actual memories at. Motherhood can be so painful.

Anyway, thanks for reading, and thank you for your support. I'm sure in light of all the problems I'm having I seem ridiculous for caring so much about going to formula... but, um, in all fairness, poop on formula = holy crap!!! - but that's enough to warrant a whole separate post.

Happy Halloween!

We had a nice little celebration here at our house for Gabriella's first Halloween. My father in law, Rick and Madeline were able to come out here from Arizona to spend some quality time with her. It was a pretty low-key weekend because I'm still (STILL!) not feeling very well. Slowly getting better, operative word being slowly. We went trick or treating around the neighborhood and Gigi scored us a little candy - we felt so creepy going up to peoples' doors with her because it either looks like a) we're morons who will give a baby candy or b) we're jerks who exploit our baby for candy. But it was social practice for her! She had so much fun in her costume and was so cozy in there. I was worried because she had been pretty fussy during the day, but once the costume came on she was all smiles. Anyway, here are the goods - my little Ducky!

We let her reach into the bowl to grab candy and she kept going for lollipops! I love her so much as a little ducky that I sort of want to dress her up in this again. What's an appropriate time/place to do this? Election day? Thanksgiving? Am I crazy?

P.S. Will someone please talk my hubbs out of the goatee he's decided to sport as of late?