So I'm fairly new at this whole mommy business. About 11 days in actually. And it's friggin hard man. They don't tell you that. Or they do, but you don't really appreciate what they warn you about until you experience it firsthand. It's wonderful, but so difficult at the same time. No sleep. I hardly remember to eat. I'm pretty sure I smell, even though I am managing to fit in a 3 minute shower daily. Oh and the crying. It breaks your heart because you want to fix whatever it is that's wrong, but you have no clue what exactly that is. So you try everything hoping that it's one of the few you can (feed, change, cuddle, burp...). And sometimes, there's nothing wrong at all... they just want to cry! And I'm not exactly sure what I'm supposed to be doing, really. Is she really only supposed to eat, poop and sleep? I don't need to entertain her? I feel guilty feeding her and then trying to get her back to sleep, hoping to evade a cry-fest. I mean I'm sure outside life is a step up in the boredom scale from life inside a dark, damp uterus (nice visual, eh?) but surely she must need more? And is she getting enough food? I wish my boobs were see-thru so I could know for certain she's getting fed. Jesus, is motherhood really all about worrying?!
They tell me it gets easier. They also tell me that it will get harder before it gets easier. When I look at my sweet Gabriella I melt completely, and know that all the hard stuff is worth it. But I am starting to resemble a zombie.