Monday, June 21, 2010 at 8:00 p.m.
8 pounds 10 ounces, 21 inches
I was scheduled for an induction for Sunday night at 6 p.m. Adam and I decided to go out for a last big meal before baby so we made reservations for one of our favorite restaurants, Ruths Chris. At the last minute I decided to forgo our original plans and we just went to CPK instead (I was too nervous to sit around at a nice steakhouse before lol). We checked in at the hospital and they began cervadil at 6 p.m., but not before giving me the most horrific internal exam ever. Seriously, the lady was all up in me to her elbow it felt like.
I did 12 hours of the cervadil to "ripen things up" so by 6 a.m. the next morning I was hopeful that I would be like oh 9 centimeters and ready to go (kidding!). It didn't do much besides soften things up a little, and I was still 1 cm, so they decided to let me shower and then go ahead with the pitocin. That started around 9 a.m.-ish and I was still waiting to really feel contractions. On the monitor I was contracting all over the place but I was generally pretty comfortable and not feeling much. I got a tiny bit crampy towards the end with the cervadil, but really nothing notable. After about an hour I was able to say I could feel contractions, but it was mostly like menstrual cramp pain (but I've had waaaaay worse period cramps!). They also went ahead and broke my water then. It was such a strange feeling - warm gushing that kept coming and coming! And with each contraction, I would feel another little mini gush of water. Yummy. The anesthesiologist was around and they offered me the epidural at that point. I honestly didn't feel like I needed it yet at all, but I was worried that labor pain would get out of control crazy fast and he wouldn't be available when I really needed it. I planned all along to get the epi anyways, so I just figured I'd go ahead with it now. I sort of regret not waiting a bit longer, but ah well, what are ya gonna do?
The epi was pretty terrifying. I'm not one who's afraid of needles (hello, I'm so used to them) so I wasn't worried about it. But holy crap was that a process to get it in. I mean when the nurse says "OK hun, now you're going to feel a very sharp nerve pain at some point, and make sure you push against the needle, and oh you can be paralyzed if you breathe the wrong way..." during the damn thing, it sort of gets to you. I mean maaaybe that wasn't verbatim what was said, but still... Hubby held my hand through it and I just focused on his eyes through the pain. He actually got really teary, and later on when I looked at the notes he was keeping for me (what time everything was happening at, reactions, etc.) he wrote: "10:30 - epidural's in! Adam cried because Lexi was so brave and strong." Ahhh I could cry at how sweet that was and how good that made me feel.
(love this pic of Adam and my 3 chins LOL)
I got really itchy after the epi so they gave me some benadryl, which knocked me out. I can't remember when I slept so well. After a couple hours I was at 2 cm, so I was progressing, but verrry slowly. Around 3:30, I was 3 cm, but baby girl was just not coming down, and she was sunny side up. They kept moving me from one side to another every hour trying to get her to move. My dr. said we'd give it a couple hours but we may need to talk c-section. I felt disappointed even thinking about that, but remained adamant that I could do it vaginally still. I pretty much slept throughout the day. 6 p.m. brought no more progress, and by 7:30 I had actually spiked a fever and they were worried that it could be a sign of infection. I was still only 3.5 cm dilated and she hadn't moved down any lower. As soon as they said that a possible infection could indicate problems for baby I agreed that a c-section was now the right move.
As they were prepping me in the operating room I began to panic and had this strong urge to run and get the hell out of there. Unfortunately my legs were numb from the epi so there was no getting out of there! I just had this feeling of "what have I gotten myself into!?" A little late to turn back at that point! Before I realized what was happening they had already started and Adam and my mom were finally in there with me. I don't remember much besides thinking the doctors and nurses in there had a very casual chatty vibe and I didn't appreciate their cavalier humor whilst lying there with a gaping hole in my abdomen. Oh and I also heard my doctor say "honey this is not fair, you have like NO fat here" and I then questioned if she had cut into the right belly. I'm confident I'm comprised of a good amount of lard.
After a few moments, and me accusing the anesthesiologist of not giving me enough meds since I could swear I felt everything (I felt nothing), I heard a cry. The sweetest, most helpless, girly little cry. She was out! Her cry was so amazing, it was the most beautiful sound I had ever ever heard. Adam was bawling, saying how beautiful and amazing she was. They lifted her up to show me over the curtain thingy and I saw my precious little perfect baby girl (albeit a little blue) crying. I felt such emotion and relief that she was out, and she was real (seriously). I had a baby! I heard them say 8-9 on her APGARs, which is great, and then they brought her over to me. I was so groggy from all the drugs in my system my eyes were not focusing right. They put her right up to me and I just remember how warm and soft her beautiful little face (now pinked up) felt. She was so perfect! I wanted them to just leave her there with me, I didn't care if they sewed me back up or anything, I just wanted to hold her! (They did glue me back together though. Didn't want anyone to worry there.) My beautiful Gabriella was born at 8:00 p.m. exactly on June 21, 2010, weighing 8 lbs. 10 ounces, and 21 inches long.
Recovery's been interesting. I'm seriously down 29 lbs (but still have a bit of a ways to go- damn those brownies). I was up and walking by 5 am the next morning, and really haven't had the tons of bleeding I was expecting. The incision still hurts on one side now, a week later, but it's getting better. I'd do it a million times over for my wonderful baby girl. Breastfeeding was a little tough in the beginning, but we've got it down now perfectly. She had trouble latching the first couple times, but I was determined to make it work, and she got it after a while. There are still some times where she refuses one boob, but I tell her it's not nice to play favorites, and she will take it the next time ;-) I haven't had to give her a bottle yet thankfully, so I'm really hoping it continues to go well. The one thing I really do miss is sleep... it's hard to come by! We love her so very much and feel so blessed that she's finally here and healthy and wonderful.
Our little lady at 0 months old!
Oh and I have to tell the story of how we finally named her! She did remain nameless until the morning we left from the hospital (Thursday) because I was so hesitant to decide. We chose Gabriella Grace because when I was in recovery Adam came and told me how beautiful and amazing she was doing, and that he really wants to name her Gabriella. He kept saying, "She's our little Gabriella, that's her name! When I first looked at her I knew that that's who she is!"
So of course with that sweet moment I said...
Haha I know, I know. I loved the name but wanted to make sure it was just right. Remember, I'm not the most decisive person ever, ya know. But during the next few days when the name discussion came up, I could tell that that's what Adam really loved, and the sweet way he just "knew" that it was the right name for her made me feel like it was right. Now I can't imagine having gone with a different name.
Now if you'll excuse me, I miss my baby girl and must go in for a snuggle. How will I ever get anything done again??